Couples therapy with EFT
Relationships and encounters are essential and formative experiences in life for every person. Nowhere else do we experience such closeness and vulnerability. Learning to perceive and appreciate this emotional vulnerability as a strength and resource can be a key moment in the relationship for many couples. This makes it possible to immerse yourself in a new, deeper phase of the journey together. In EFT (emotion-focused therapy), it is a mindful approach to emotions, attachment styles and the associated cultivation of emotional intelligence that contribute essentially to change and development in relationships. For working with intense emotions, I offer a mindful and clear, systemic or non-judgmental space that promotes closeness and an attitude of strength and self-responsibility in the encounter. ​
Emotion-focused therapy
In EFT, we assume that negative behavioral and experiential dynamics often arise in the course of relationships that bring along conflict and alienation, especially when communication is currently based more on impulses or emotions such as anger and fear. After the initial phase of falling in love, couples often learn to suppress, avoid or project/compensate for these feelings or their sensitivity in general. This is usually normalized or covered up as culturally influenced or socially expected coping patterns. In my practice, I often work with international couples who experience various, often conflicting cultural (role) demands in their relationship.
A crisis as normal starting and turning points
Usually, couples only turn to me as a therapist when conflicts have become acute or escalating. The longing for love and to be loved, for seeing and being seen, is often covered up or disturbed in everyday life. This is completely normal, common and corresponds to the same experience as in individual therapy. Accordingly, I work with understanding, mindfulness and empathy with logical concerns and intense feelings such as shame, guilt or being overwhelmed at the beginning of the therapy process. Phases of crisis, as exhausting and dreary as they may seem, are a (rare) wonderful opportunity for many couples to develop further in dealing with the unpleasant and to discover a more intense, trusting depth. This makes couples therapy a particularly meaningful occasion and setting for me.
When does couples therapy make sense?
In EFT, emotions are expressed mindfully, meaning this approach is experiential and experience-oriented. The “expressive” represents an antagonist (counterpart) to depression or suppression and overcompensation of feelings, e.g. through rigid/ inflexible or disproportionate expression of sadness, despair or anger and rage.
Dysfunctional interaction patterns can be experienced “live” by the relationship partners and can also be articulated and changed from the experienced moment.
Constructive, conscious and intelligent bonding experiences are the goal here. Together in couples therapy, we take a courageous look at the dynamics, the pattern, the process of change and thereby overcome the often deadlocked, static fixation and discussion on responsibility - to get beyond the blame game.
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In my practice I support couples who...
are in a crisis and are looking for support.
want to develop or rediscover more closeness, warmth and passion in their relationship.
want to develop deeper trust or rebuild it after a breach of trust.
seek a common solution to an issue that is important to both partners.